Broken promises

There is never a 100% guarantee in this world
Things are simple, human are complicated
Hence, the World become complicated
History keep repeating the same thing again and again
God knows better
God shows me the answer
but me, always trying to challenge God that I chose the best for me
God always know what is the best for us
believe him, He knows all
everything happen for a reason
as long as keep us grow, its good
let go, and grow up

its been the worst 2months for me
things changed, I need to adapt myself to a new environment
people changed, I changed
I feel I am stupid enough, and still so stupid
like an idiot
is time to think again, purpose of life
what kind of life that God wants me to live

I only back to God when I need Him, because I know He never give up on me
I take things for granted, others take me for granted
What goes around comes around

I keep holding grudge in me
is not good, I know
Im trying to let it go, when I can let go, Im free
then I can move on
when we keep moving forward, happiness follow our back

is easy to say not easy to do
been manipulating myself for 2months
struggle within myself for 2months
make people around me miserable
I wish, I have choices
I wish, I can know whats God's plan for me
I wish, I can get what I want
I wish, I be happy like I used to be

always wondering,
if I am not in this world anymore, anyone will remember me?
anybody will think of me, what I did for them?

is been a long long time I didnt had such personal feeling post
I am a human too, I have feelings
dont take my kindness for granted, no one else can do it again, never.