Last sem in UMS

wao it seems fast huh..now it has come to the last semester I stay in UMS
after this semester I will grad and wont be back Sabah for a period of time
except for my convocation of course.

begin of this semester with laziness is not a good thing
worst thing perhaps as I am still lazy even this is the second week
wana get a part time because I need money so badly
retreat need money, spks dinner, practicum, and trip with cousins

am so so poor and now I dont even have money to buy food
ptptn still not bank in to students yet
all of us consider facing the bankruptcy any moment

hmm..well I am really miss KK and will be
because here really a nice place, where I can find peace
but staying here without people I really cherish and appreciate
I found it boring
was thinking that why my life in uni is so boring
realize that without some people that really give impact on my life in uni
or any event or activities in uni make my uni life boring

someday when I look back at my uni life
I will regret, I will not proud of it because
it seems I got nothing to be cherish or remember of..
not really though..this happen only this my third year..
previous was nice enough, with my roommates, friends..
but when I came into 3rd year..it so so boring

well..hope I still can share some a little bit of my joy with others when they ask
I dont want to say.. 'erm, nothing much, study'
wao..that is so boring rite..and pathetic
while then..I need a part time..anybody got jalan or lubang?
let me know..
I am free on tues, thurs and weekend..
I need a job badly..come on give me a job =)

11 FEB 2012, 6.30pm

uncle died..at hospital
he not even struggle much to live on and he is dead now
from the day he diagnosed with lung cancer until the day he died
not more than 3months i guess
and heard that lung cancer is because he smoked then quit it
so they say is better not to quit smoking if you had started it but reduce it

i am so sad when heard seemun said her dad had gone
heard she crying over the phone is so sad and heartbroken, think of my daddy
when i meet them is more sad than i imagine
remind me of how i was in that situation and now i am grown up
i understand more and is much more heartbroken for seemun

uncle is a good man..
why a good man, a good person cant live longer? everybody asking this
nobody can answer, only God know the plan for him
only God has the special plan for him..maybe God dont want him suffer of his sickness
and dont want his family sad, want his son change and grow up for this
nobody know..and we will never find out too
destiny..faith..trust..
then we will never question again..

praying hard

uncle got cancer and they knew it last november..
diagnosed is almost the last stage. and today doc told us is already last stage
and they cant do anything more. the only thing to do is just make him feel less suffer less painful
this is so heartbroken when i heard it. and seeing she cry makes me think of daddy
i dont know is good or not when daddy died at my young age where i have no idea what happening
maybe not no idea but compare with the age she is..this totally killing me
knowing her own daddy sick and going to die is better or worst than me?
it might be better because they can spend more time, quality time with him starting now
but worst because you have to pretend and know he have to suffer the sickness so do them trying to hide how sad they are

at that moment even this moment i cant practice what i learned
i cant use what i got..is this means i have no skill?
i cant take out my empathy and i dont know what to say to make them feel better
so what i've been doing for almost 3 years time
rushing assignment, attending lectures and tutorials but now i cant even do something that relating to it
i only have theories and knowledge and know how to say about it but i cant use it
or i dont even have the knowledge? i only use it to do assignments and exams then  i delete it from me
such useless and wasting of time...

anyway, for you who read this..
please pray for my uncle who got cancer and seems pretty suffer right now. thanks.

....

lately i kinda easily emo..maybe because im a woman (lame excuse). sometimes i dont know what im thinking about..things seems small even i do feel so sometimes but for me is a serious matter also but not for you or the others. you dont take it serious but i do. you think it just a small matter not important but not for me. it not always that simple as you think. or all this while you never thought of it nor take it serious as i do. when you dont take it serious i cant do anything and the only thing that i can do is ignore it and let it be. i pitiful aint i? and i always dont really appreciate things when i got. i am such a greedy person. when i dont get it i want it so much. i can do things that i will never do (not all of course) in order to get it. i do appreciate it and take care of it but only a while, after that, i will put it aside and forget it until i remember i got such a thing. not only things but human same too. realize myself dont really want to social or know new friends. lazy to introduce myself, lazy to smile always. prefer staying all alone by myself. am i sick? become a pessimistic person? i wish i can be the one i used to be the person that happy go lucky. now i only know avoid it. am useless. is not late to realize now and is not late to change now but when i will start to change? is a matter or time.. (avoiding again). such an emo post will usually appear during late night but this time at this hour kinda weird yet feel better now. good thing to do. back to work and think how to earn some money!

Chap Goh Mei

today is last day of chinese new year, chap goh mei

there's a tradition where woman throw mandarin oranges into the river

then the man will take the oranges, well, there's written contact number and names on it

so that's how they find their lover using this tradition

I never try this out but I wont haha

I might throw oranges into the river but it's not that environmental rite? haha

better not..

well, i'm going to spend time with my mom tonite

brother went out with his friends, he dont want join us

although I seldom hang out with mom

didnt tell her I care about her, love her but I do love her

she know rite? hope so..

my streamyx connection had been terminated or suspended

it claim that we havent pay the bill ishk..

therefore cant post many photos

thought want to blog about Gua Tempurung trip

too bad, cant upload so just simply jot down something here

 firecrackers sound bing bing bang bang everywhere now

everybody so excited about it now

how nice if I can blog about Gua Tempurung and other stuff and also Peggy's house and everything

Happy Chap Goh Mei everybody

no more holiday =(

work harder la =)

Cochrane Road Scouts..once a scout, always a scout

update-to-be-post

many many things to write to post to share but not enough time
just back from Gua Tempurung while ago..
although super tired but i am still excited and happy
got this kind of the-after-cave-effect hahahaha
many many things I want share and post
will blog as soon as possible hehe
stay with me =)

Chinese New Year with relatives

almost the first week I spent my CNY with my relatives, my aunts and my cousins 

not my mom because she have to work, bro too sad...

second day with cousins went to Movida

meet up with Nicholas and Janice too

party time with them!!

then friday saturday went to Genting

not really Genting, just half hill only haha Genting View Resort

Ben's and Esther were there so he asked us to join

end up, Eric, Yik, me, Xuan, allie and keng with 5 kids

nice staying there

is Esther's parents house..nice house so comfortable

nice scene rite, like those outdoor cooking session haha

its been while didnt expose to nature

went to Genting on Saturday evening after lose rm20 to them ishk..

went to Doraemon World..

nice place though not very special

but once in a life time, okok lo..

adult ticket rm35 included a Touch N Go doraemon special edition card

I got 1 of course..and if you're a Worldcard member you will have rm5 rebate in your card

whatever transaction inside doraemon world you have to use the card, no cash

Doraemon Touch N Go!!

huge comic!

haha..kinda funny rite..

their dining room

sinyu the rich kid house haha

time tunnel..i want back to past and go to future!

if you want to visit them..and also havent go

hurry up because it will end on 5th February..

hurry up hurry up..go go go..Genting Arena of Star very near only haha go..

i want go again without paying k? haha

so many childhood memories when I enter doraemon world

went in with Yik and Jun but Jun not excited as us

maybe he didnt expose much to Doraemon, more familiar with ben10 maybe hahaha