August Monthly Test

Bad Day!!!!

hatred towards school and teachers getting stronger..

HATE teachers..HATE muet..HATE econs..HATE p.am...HATE acc..HATE maths

hate TEACHERS because the class getting boring..membencikan..men'dulan'kan..

hate MUET because I am not taking for the final yet still have to do the exercise..

hate ECONS because the teacher seems like dont know how2 teach..her style damn bored..talk also slowly soft..' Class ar..do u know ar~~~~ '

hate P.AM because the 'leng mui' so lazy..go in class read newspaper and give us 1question..

hate ACC because I dont know how2 do and teachers got bit lazy..well..not really teach us..

hate MATHS because I did try to understand but still the same after all..come in class always ask the same question..' Any question? U finish ur work? Do I give homework? '

Its been a while I didnt cry..I dont feel this is good because..it shows that I dont have any stress any tension to release..or..I might have stress which cant be seen..and it keep inside my heart..my body my mind which will hurt myself more and more..

This few days I am so different..something wrong with me..some feeling that hardly explain..I cant describe the feel..but it did make me feel uneasy..uncomfortable..I dont like that kind of feeling..it just like..hate myself..my body is out of control..my mind always cant stop from thinking stupid thing..always hypnosis myself to sleep..

I do really want2 study and score in exam..but..when I reach home..or even in school I dont have the heart to study to do any revision..it seems like I've give up my studies..I dont want things to become lidat..NO~~!!!!! is it because my self-controlled very weak..?? my EQ very weak..??

Really hope I can go somewhere which nobody is there and give myself some time to cool down to think..yet..I'm so very talkative..getting talkative and this is not normal..!! I'm too talkative..hyper active maybe..feel wan2 cry to release my emotion but cant..why??? I'm so suffer in this condition..

Is there any way or anybody can help me..?? get me out of this conflict..get me out from this complicated world!!!!!!! Please save me!!!!

STPM trial is getting nearer...15 September..my bday..I'm afraid of it..yet exciting because is my bday..(hate this kind of feeling).. waiting for the day coming really make me cant breath..heart beep seems like will stop at any moment..