bye

saying bye is so common to end a conversation
but it didn't really happen when I talking to mom
she also didn't really wait me say bye then she hung up

happy when mom called me this afternoon
already 2 to 3 weeks she didn't call or contact me
this is so weird rite..
some people will chat with their mom every day but me
when something really important or urgent to discuss about

today she called me to ask whether I will pursue my master or not
because she had some other plan if I am not
then I talk about money
this sem really need a lot of money and I cant even get a part time
all looking for full time =(

I need money to support myself for the stupid retreat
then some of my cousins coming over during sem break to have holiday
I bet during that time will spend quite a huge amount
I am so so poor as ptptn definitely can't enough for me

I have to pay phone credit, broadband, food, books, and others
if you say no entertainment and cook each meal then might enough until end of this semester
but is that really can?
school dinner and so on? this is my last semester of course I hope I can have some outing with my coursemates

is there any part time that suitable for me? =(
when talk with mom about this issue she starting babble a lot
in the end I guess give up the trip with cousins maybe because I really had no money to spare anymore

why practicum had no any allowance or salary?
why??
for 3 months I work or spend our time like a working servant but no any allowance
till that time ptptn confirm had dry up
rm1960 for a sem which means roughly rm400 for a month is not really enough already
I still have to think for the following 3months...
if there is hostel, of course will be great to save up the accommodation
food, daily expenses and so on will spend up until rm400/month
so where can I get another rm1200??
if I work for 3months, for a normal job I can earn rm600 minimum each month
but now I got nothing!

maybe some of the NGOs or private organization will give some allowance
that is good enough at least can help out a bit..
but for me..who focusing more on government sector, don't even think about getting a helpful cent

talking with mom over the phone usually makes me cry
end up hung the call without saying bye
means not a good, happy talk between us
always..things always happens this way
yet I still not really used to it
why other family can be better but not me

*sigh* many things to think now
when I am not working yet
I cant imagine what will my route be after I finish my studies
after this semester
after this semester where am I going to find another at least rm1200 to survive
then flight ticket to come back UMS for convo..
money for convo and so on...

dear friends, please don't ask me out
don't invite me go anywhere
don't find me for dinner or lunch
don't ever find me..I wont angry or upset if didn't ask me out